I lie here in wonder, waiting for the day when I can jump up & do what I want.
Without having to explain why, without having to think more than twice.
I've had the chance to live that life. It wasn't for long, but it made me smile.
Smile, because that was freeedom.
Freedom that a child can relate to on his bike. Freedom that the artist can paint on canvas.
Freedom that is expressed through song.
Oh, how I yearn for that day to come again. So much that even I can play a song!
Still, I lay here and ponder. Because I know that day won't come by mere chance.
Like my fore-fathers, I too have to fight for it.
Fight not with you, fight not with mother. But fight with myself.
Work hard they say to achieve success. And so it is in this case.
Why? I do not know. Why is life always about pain followed by gain? I may never find out.
Questioning it won't help either.
But I do know one thing. I cannot wait for it to knock on my door.
Go ahead & unlock that happy place is called for.
Even so, I'm still left to wonder.
Wonder where to find that place.
Wonder then & seek it's key; Only to find out that none can be done without HE.
HE is the inspiration, HE is the strength.
This is faith. And faith can move mountains they say.
But labouring to move it is also true. A fact less underrated.
From freedom to faith. This is why I wonder.
Is there anyone who can come to my aid?
Someone to give an encouraging push. Someone to stand & tell me 'This is how you do it.'
Aah! That someone can either be you. Or it can be me.
Yes, that's possible. It is me beneath my skin.
So I stop at this hint.
And now again I wonder.
Wonder, how to let myself out.
Showing posts with label hate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hate. Show all posts
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Unity in Diversity??
I had to stop reading a Valentino Rossi interview for this!
Like a cancer we eat into each other. That's how it is in ma familia. When we're away from each other, there seems to be peace & understanding between the four of us. But when we're under one roof, somehow or the other, all hell breaks loose. Is it us or is it the house? Maybe its cursed, who knows!
Here's a brief 'emotional status' description of ma familia:
Member A: Lonely, Rejected, Failure, Frustrated
Member B: Can't forget the past, Whiney, Needs just the faintest spark to combust
Both A & B have distinct abilities to mess with the heads. A messes with C & D's heads while B messes with A's head.
Member C:Has coped well with the whole situation & has made a successul person of himself albeit at a slight personal physical loss. Good then, that Member C has Member F for companionship, love and the emotional let-out.
Member D: The opposite extreme of C. The worst person. At par with A.
Infact A + D = Angry Mount. Vesuvius.
D work with A??..Whoah!! You gotta be kiddin me!
But at this point in their lives D has what it takes to change all this. Huh! Who am I kiddin? Not 'all of this' but atleast enough to make life a lil' easier. Unfortunately, D is just wasting his life away. Making it more of a mess than it already is.
Member D often has 'What the hell was I thinking?' moments & will continue to have them unless concrete steps are taken.
But even then, the four of them can't stay in the same Ring. At times its like a 'barb-wired steel-cage' match; while at other times its of the 'over-the-top-rope' kind.
I'm glad its just 4 members, else it would be 1/6th of a Royal Rumble!
You may be wondering what happened to Member E. Fortunately, for its own good, Member E never got to see the light of day. Literally. Boy am I glad for that. But yeah, I do regret not knowing if it was a boy or girl. Not to forget the obvious joys a third sibling could have brought. But then better his/her happiness at our cost.
At home, the malignant disease has yet to find a cure. It seems to me that there's just two solutions: (a)Everyone or someone changes for the better OR
(b)Unofficial separation from each other of any form.
After all the introspection, I've been able to identify one root cause. It is the Intense Anger within each one. Bottled up daily in small increments. Then, set ablaze like a flaming bottle of alcohol and hurled at the enemy.
Sad, ain't it? Having to term members of a familia as enemies? But don't get me wrong. Deep down, we do love each other. Trust me, that's what we realise when we are away........
Like a cancer we eat into each other. That's how it is in ma familia. When we're away from each other, there seems to be peace & understanding between the four of us. But when we're under one roof, somehow or the other, all hell breaks loose. Is it us or is it the house? Maybe its cursed, who knows!
Here's a brief 'emotional status' description of ma familia:
Member A: Lonely, Rejected, Failure, Frustrated
Member B: Can't forget the past, Whiney, Needs just the faintest spark to combust
Both A & B have distinct abilities to mess with the heads. A messes with C & D's heads while B messes with A's head.
Member C:Has coped well with the whole situation & has made a successul person of himself albeit at a slight personal physical loss. Good then, that Member C has Member F for companionship, love and the emotional let-out.
Member D: The opposite extreme of C. The worst person. At par with A.
Infact A + D = Angry Mount. Vesuvius.
D work with A??..Whoah!! You gotta be kiddin me!
But at this point in their lives D has what it takes to change all this. Huh! Who am I kiddin? Not 'all of this' but atleast enough to make life a lil' easier. Unfortunately, D is just wasting his life away. Making it more of a mess than it already is.
Member D often has 'What the hell was I thinking?' moments & will continue to have them unless concrete steps are taken.
But even then, the four of them can't stay in the same Ring. At times its like a 'barb-wired steel-cage' match; while at other times its of the 'over-the-top-rope' kind.
I'm glad its just 4 members, else it would be 1/6th of a Royal Rumble!
You may be wondering what happened to Member E. Fortunately, for its own good, Member E never got to see the light of day. Literally. Boy am I glad for that. But yeah, I do regret not knowing if it was a boy or girl. Not to forget the obvious joys a third sibling could have brought. But then better his/her happiness at our cost.
At home, the malignant disease has yet to find a cure. It seems to me that there's just two solutions: (a)Everyone or someone changes for the better OR
(b)Unofficial separation from each other of any form.
After all the introspection, I've been able to identify one root cause. It is the Intense Anger within each one. Bottled up daily in small increments. Then, set ablaze like a flaming bottle of alcohol and hurled at the enemy.
Sad, ain't it? Having to term members of a familia as enemies? But don't get me wrong. Deep down, we do love each other. Trust me, that's what we realise when we are away........
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)